Internet Police Flagged Me For Buying Pre-Teen Fantasy Literature, Heads Up!

In the spirit of Denny Green, "you were what we thought you were! You were what we thought you were!" Thanks, Luke, for the opportunity to buy underaged Fantasy Literature(at least now I have a reason other than compulsion).
A few comments:
1.I figured it we're going to be stuck with Archetypes, why not own it? With that in mind, I bought the book, but the audio version(i'm pretty skeptical of the wrote word) as read by Big Papi. Should be awesome..and just a heads up, there's a vast library of audio books as read by Dikembe Mutumbo for you Houston Rocket enthusiasts.
2.When I bought the book on amazon, my screen swirled into a black cloudy spiral, and I was transformed into the 6th interwebs where I battled warlocks for what seemed to be hours. As I was about to defeat the 7th level pygmie elvish wren, I was knocked out by a Gremlin of Harming. I woke up at my desk, and less than 3 seconds had gone by. Weird. Exciting. Confusing. This should be great!
3.I've never been in a book club(don't/can't read), but the majority of the book clubs seem to have a common theme: women reading cheesy novels. To avoid that association(Pre-teen male fantasy literature will help) I have a few suggestions:
A.Let's have accountability on when we need to finish each book. I'd say a month starting today(so the 16th of each month) we need to have it finished and comments ready for sharing.
B.For those in town, a meeting to discuss the previous month's book appropriate to the topic/theme of said book(no strip clubs, Budinger). Since we won't meet at a Jr. High, suggestions are welcome for this month's entry. If the weapon store on 400 north in Orem, or the Asian weapon store on University would have us, that would be amazing. The food should always be BBQ. No exceptions.
C.Punishment for not reading-Further setting us apart from the female based book clubs, will be a punishment affixed to not meeting the deadline. Not some mamby pamby "you lose 5 points!" but a real punishment. I'm thinking something akin to Brazier's mancation punishment, with Photographic or video proof of completion.

I'm looking forward to this journey, if only as a vehicle to introduce my collection of Bernstein Bears(Josh, you'll love them, they're Jewish!) books.
Peace and Love,
Dan